It’s Too Damn Cold to Camp French Toast

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Just because it’s 70 degrees in Fort Collins, doesn’t mean it isn’t still below freezing in the mountains (at least at the time I’d normally be cooking breakfast). Therefore, it is too damn cold to camp. So instead, I’ll make french toast like a normal person, in a normal kitchen.

Here’s the thing about french toast. Most people whisk some eggs, dip some bread in it, fry it in a pan and put syrup on it. To me, this is the equivalent of making overcooked scrambled eggs, putting it on toast, and adding sugar. Doesn’t that sound disgusting? THIS IS NOT HOW YOU SHOULD MAKE FRENCH TOAST. French Toast should be more like bread pudding- more “custardy” than “eggy”. Also, regular french toast is boring, so I fill mine with cream cheese and fruit.

It’s Too Damn Cold to Camp French Toast

Serves 3, at 2 pieces per person

Ingredients:

1 loaf (12 slices) of Brioche bread, preferably a little stale

1-1/2 cups whole milk

1/2 cup heavy whipping cream

3 Grade A Large eggs- whole

2 Grade A Large eggs- separated. Keep the yolks, save or toss the whites

1 tsp vanilla extract

3 tsp sugar

Cinnamon

1- 8 oz package of cream cheese at room temperature

Your choice of jams and fruit preserves OR you can mash up some fruit (like peaches or strawberries) with a little sugar

Chantilly Cream (recipe follows)

Syrup

Powdered Sugar and Cinnamon for dusting

Tools:

8 oz or larger glass measuring cup (meant for pouring)

9×13 glass baking dish

Lodge Cast Iron Pizza Pan

Directions:

Place the cast iron pizza pan in a cold oven, then pre-heat oven to 325 degrees. Heat the pan for at least 20 minutes, or until you’re ready to cook the french toast. This will ensure that the cast iron is the same temperature as the oven and ensures even cooking.

Whisk together the cream, milk, eggs, egg yolks, sugar and vanilla. I used a stick blender to make sure there weren’t any large clumps of egg whites that didn’t incorporate. Ideally, make this mixture in a container that is easy to pour out of, like a glass measuring cup.

Assemble the sandwiches:

I put my cream cheese in a microwave-safe bowl and microwaved it at 10 second intervals until it was a nice spreadable consistency. You should be able to smoothly spread it onto the bread without mangling the pieces beyond recognition. Take 2 pieces of bread. One one piece, spread 1 1/2 tablespoons of the softened cream cheese. On the second piece, spread a small amount of cream cheese- enough to cover the slice, but not as much as you used on the first piece, about 2 teaspoons. On the second piece, spoon on your jam or fruit of choice- about 1 1/2 tablespoons . Spread it a little, but don’t spread it out to the corners of the bread, or it will ooze out during cooking. Put the first piece of bread on top of the second piece, and press down lightly around the edges to seal in the filling. Assemble all of the sandwiches, and place in the 9×13 baking dish. Pour the egg mixture over the sandwiches, let set for 1 minute, then turn the sandwiches over and let set for 1 more minute. Let the sandwiches sit in the mixture for 10 minutes, flipping again at the 5 minute mark. Dust with cinnamon before placing them on the pan to bake.

Remove the pizza pan from the oven, place the sandwiches directly on the pan, and place back in the oven. Let bake for 25 minutes, turning with a heat-safe spatula after about 15 minutes.

Top with Chantilly cream, syrup, cinnamon and powdered sugar.

Chantilly Cream

Also from Chef Paul Prudhomme’s Louisiana Kitchen, this is great for giving a boozy kick to anything you would put whipped cream on. It’s also quite nice in coffee or hot chocolate. Or on a spoon.

2/3 cup of heavy whipping cream
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 teaspoon of brandy (or bourbon)
1 teaspoon of Grand Marnier
1/4 cup powdered sugar
2 tablespoons sour cream

Refrigerate a medium-size bowl and beaters (or whisk attachment) until very cold. Combine cream and vanilla in the bowl and beat on medium speed until soft peaks form. Add sugar, sour cream, brandy/bourbon, and Grand Marnier until just incorporated. Refrigerate until ready to use.

Lagniappe: The Chef says “Do not overbeat. Overbeating will make the cream grainy, which is the first step leading to butter. Once grainy, you can’t return it to its former consistency, but if this ever happens, enjoy it on toast!” If you accidentally overbeat the cream, continue whipping until the mixture separates into fat solids and an opaque liquid (this is buttermilk). Strain the liquid and compress the solids- this works best with a cheesecloth. Save the buttermilk liquid and use it to make biscuits to enjoy your boozy butter on!

Wilderness Biscuits and Gravy

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“I never thought I would have biscuits and gravy again!” my then-boyfriend-now-husband exclaimed when I offered to make it for breakfast for the first time. He’d only been in Colorado for a couple of months at that point, but I think he’d already decided he was never going back to live in Louisiana. Now it’s our special occasion breakfast- birthdays, valentine’s day, etc etc.  There was no exception to this rule despite the fact that we would be spending his 30th birthday in a tent. So, this was my first attempt at “how the hell am I going to make that in the woods?”

My first screw up was forgetting to bake the biscuits before we left. Our cheap camp stove is pretty much only good for boiling water, and it’s never a sure thing that we’ll end up in a camp spot with a fire ring. Fortunately we nabbed the last one. I was also fairly new to using cast iron, so I braced everyone for the very real possibility that my attempt to make fire-baked biscuit would result in a charred mess. Somehow they came out mostly biscuit-like, with only one fatality, so I proceeded on to the gravy.

This was the part I was REALLY not sure about. Dairy in the wilderness is questionable at best, and making a roux can turn into a weapon instead of a thickener in the best of kitchens. I wrapped the biscuits in foil and put them on a hot stone to stay warm (because despite being June, it was all of 38 degrees in the morning) and fished the sausage out of our already-melting cooler. I was going to be lucky if we all came out of this experiment without food poisoning. Sausage in the pan to brown, I start to gather my gravy ingredients and…I’ve forgotten the flour. Roux is 2 things- fat and flour- and I have no flour. So, instead of biscuits and gravy, we’re now going to have biscuits and…sausage flavored milk? Yummy. My husband, who has the taste buds of a goat, doesn’t understand. It’s still basically the same thing, right? It’ll just be a little runny.

Our friend Chris, also from Louisiana, enjoying breakfast

It’ll be fine, he says. Then I remembered the biscuit briquette. Biscuits are made of flour right? I cut open the charred outside, scooped out the fluffy insides, crumble and mix it into the sausage fat. Add the milk and….somehow it actually thickened up enough to pass for gravy! I added the sausage back into the sauce, grab the biscuits off the fire and voila- we have birthday biscuits and gravy!

So, what did I learn? Like Santa, make a list and check it twice BEFORE heading into the wilderness.

 

 

 

Wilderness Biscuits and Gravy

Serves 3-4

Lagniappe:We usually eat this with shredded hash browns cooked in bacon grease and eggs cooked over easy, but this isn’t recommended if you need to be a functional human for the rest of the day, as it has a tendency to induce a drowsy, food-coma like state.

Ingredients:

1- package of Pillsbury Buttermilk Biscuits

1- package of Jimmy Dean Hot Breakfast Sausage

1- tablespoon of unsalted butter plus more for buttering the biscuits to taste

2- tablespoons of all-purpose flour

2- cups of whole fat milk

Blackened Seasoning to taste (recipe follows)

Salt and Pepper to taste

Tools:

10 inch cast iron skillet with lid

Tin foil

Slotted Spoon

Sea2Summit Collapsable x-bowl with lid

Whisk

Directions:

Preheat the 10 inch cast iron pan by placing as close to the fire as possible, without sticking it straight in the flames, for 20 minutes.

Wearing oven mitts, remove the cast iron from the fire and arrange the biscuits in the skillet. Cover with the lid, and place near the fire, preferably on a flat stone. The cast iron shouldn’t be in direct contact with the fire to avoid burning the dough. Check on the biscuits after 15 minutes, and flip if the bottom of the biscuits are browned. Place cast iron back near the fire, and check again in 10 minutes. Continue checking regularly until the biscuits are browned on both sides.

Once the biscuits are baked, wrap in a double layer of aluminum foil and place near the fire (but not near enough to continue cooking) to keep them warm.

Move the cast iron to your camping stove, turn the heat to med-high. Add sausage to the pan, and break up with a fork or spatula. Continue to break up larger pieces, and cook until the sausage is cooked through and starting to brown. Move the sausage to a lidded bowl (we use Sea2Summit x-bowls, but any lidded bowl will work). You need to work quickly for this next part. Leave as much of the fat from the sausage in the pan as possible, pouring any fat from the bowl back into the pan.Reduce heat to medium. Add the tablespoon of unsalted butter to melt. Add the 2 tablespoons of flour and whisk into the fat to create a paste. **DO NOT GET THIS SUBSTANCE ON YOUR SKIN. Whisk carefully** When the mixture has formed a paste and starts to bubble, add the milk. Again, be very careful with this step, as the mixture can boil and spit when the liquid is added. Wait for any steam to clear, and then whisk vigorously. The mixture should start to thicken immediately. Reduce the heat to low or remove the cast iron from the heat completely. Add the blacked seasoning, salt and pepper to taste. Add the sausage into the gravy mixture and serve over biscuits immediately.

Blackened Seasoning

This comes directly from chef Paul Prudhomme’s Louisiana Kitchen. He uses it as a seasoning for redfish. I use it on pretty much everything, from steak to hash browns.  I make a big batch, and keep it as part of our main spice set that comes on every camping adventure.

1 tablespoon sweet paprika

2 teaspoon onion powder

1 teaspoon garlic powder

1 teaspoon cayenne pepper

3/4 teaspoon white pepper

3/4 teaspoon black pepper

1/2 teaspoon dried, ground thyme

1/2 teaspoon dried oregano leaves

Combine all ingredients and mix thoroughly. You can add 2-1/2 teaspoons of salt to the mixture, but I prefer to leave it out of the mix, and add salt to the overall dish as needed.